For the next part of your life, you have found the person you can be happy with and enjoy sharing life with. So how are you going to make an unforgettable marriage proposal to him? Don't worry, and remember: Don't be afraid if you know what you want and are sure you complete each other. You don't have to do anything too exaggerated or crazy unless either of you want it. Make your unforgettable proposal that will touch your simple, romantic, crazy or flamboyant life if it comes from within you and you are sure you will like it. The most important thing is to speak out and explain perfectly how valuable the other person is to you. Before you can marry him, you may want or be obliged to get permission from his family. Otherwise, they might not like you, and a promise ring might come in handy. Proposing is a big step and let's start taking these steps together.

Whether it is from the culture we were born into or what we see in the mainstream media, the idea of marriage that has been imposed on us since we were born has been that "men make the proposal." As women, we have always had this expectation in our long-term relationships… We always wanted men to initiate the process of taking the relationship one step further. While we were dreaming of this, we always enacted scenes we saw in romantic Hollywood movies… But there are many women in the world who break this stereotyped ideal. An article written by Harling Ross for Manrepeller.com tells the stories of 8 women proposing marriage to their future spouse. Let's see what it feels like to propose marriage for these brave women.

1. Stephanie

We met Scott while working at a restaurant in the French Quarter of New Orleans. For several years he remained a friend with whom I occasionally go out to have a drink and spend time together. Although there were periods of weeks that I liked him; Because he had a serious relationship with someone he loved and respected, I suppressed my doomed interest and feelings. During this time, I tried to set sail for other (rather unfortunate) loves.

When her relationship ended, I continued to be the friend she could share her troubles with and find support whenever she wanted, but romantically, we both went our own way. I wondered if I had missed my chance with him, but part of me said it would be unreasonable to throw away all those years of friendship for the sake of a short adventure. We both denied the situation and started making small gestures towards each other under the name of "friendship". For example, she would bring me coffee at work, she. When he was sick, I would bring him throat drops and medicine. Over time, these small "friendship" gestures gave way to greater sacrifices. I painted the walls of his bedroom in spring green. So he made me a handmade wooden shelf and painted it a beautiful blue. We were sending each other flowers at work. When you think about it now, we were actually courting each other quite a bit. When we realized that we were spending more time with each other than with the people we were hanging out with, we realized that it was time to have a serious conversation about starting a relationship. Since I favor polygamy and he is loyal to the concept of monogamy, we discussed the issue of relationship in depth, considering all its pros and cons. At the end of our conversations, we decided to start the relationship.

Six months after I started the relationship, I realized I had dreams about starting a home with Scott and raising a child.

In this process where I feel that all my prejudices about monogamy are slowly being broken; I saw that the strength that comes from our togetherness makes us both better individuals, and this situation stunned me.On top of that, I wanted to honor our love in a sacred but somewhat outdated way. This was an incredibly funny situation for me, and I panicked because I realized I wanted to marry Scott.Everything was a complete mess. I was walking around nervously, not being sure what to do or how to do it. No idea seemed good enough to my eyes. Everything was shouting "cliché" in my head. Finally, I gathered all my strength and invited him to meet me in the park one evening. The day I was in pink from head to toe, I could no longer hide my excitement. It seemed like he would understand the surprise as soon as he saw me.

That night, Scott was able to leave work a little late. By the time he came, the park was closed and its doors were locked. I clearly remember the sad and bored look on Scott's face crouching on the grass outside the locked door.Under normal circumstances, I would give up at that moment, but I could not hide this secret that had grown in an unbelievable speed inside me for weeks and took over my whole body. I immediately grabbed his hand, and we jumped over the hedges towards the part of the park overlooking the Mississippi River.I sat on his lap, and for a while we continued to sit in silence, watching the view. I indoctrinated myself by saying that I was born to do this. Then I whispered softly in his ear, "For a while, I think I wanted to marry you." All of a sudden his stance changed. He never expected to hear this from me because I had repeatedly told him that I would not marry anyone in my life and that he should not waste his breath in vain. He asked me if I was sure. I said I was pretty sure and I absolutely wanted it. Hearing this, he instantly accepted my offer.

Although I was the person who proposed marriage, it made me feel like I was succumbing to it rather than breaking a stereotyped social norm. For a long time I had in my mind the thoughts that the idea of ​​marriage was merely a tool that harbored the capitalist and patriarchal system. I was strongly against the idea of ​​marriage, and that is why I promised myself (especially before the Marriage Equality Act was passed) that I would never marry. Because I described myself as a queer woman, even after this law was passed, the idea of ​​marriage seemed to me more like assimilating to her than changing a problematic norm. To tell you the truth, I still feel that way, but with Scott coming into my life, something has changed for me. Scott has always respected my queerness and saw me above all as a partner he could cherish. Even though our relationship may appear to be on a heterosexual plane from the outside, it is queer in nature because I define myself that way. Marriage change thatbut we could knead the marriage the way we wanted and make it special for us. Because he respected my wishes at the time, I was pretty sure Scott would never propose to me, so I proposed to him. I think it is very important to evaluate the reasons you made your marriage proposal. Is it because you have been together for a long time and you think you should do this now? To make others happy or to fulfill your partner's wishes? To get rid of the pressure from your family to get married and start a family? All these stupid reasons are the kind that can hurt your relationship (and future marriage) with someone you care about before you can begin your story properly! Your instinct is everything. If you don't want to propose, don't! If you like the idea of ​​marriage and you are sure that in the depths of your heart you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, offer it! Don't let gender norms get in the way of your happiness.

* Queer: Queer was previously identified only with LGBT individuals but nowadays considered more inclusive; It is an umbrella term that encompasses all minority gender and sexual orientations.

2. Holly

Holly is 24 years old and lives in Seattle, Washington. We started dating my fiancee, Dexter, three years ago, on the sixth month of our friendship, when we realized that we were secretly falling in love with each other. Growing up in the heart of the south, I was still quite religious at the time and felt hesitant about dating an atheist. But we both had a very similar outlook on life, so I decided to give us both a chance. After living happily together for two years, I started thinking about proposing. I had an increasing urge to declare my loyalty to him in front of our friends and family. Throughout my adolescence, the idea of ​​"being married" was something I always envied (because I was from the South), but by the time I was in my 20s this desire gradually diminished. Now, all I wanted was to propose to Dexter in a way that swept off his feet and show him how much I love him. I proposed to Dexter at a second-hand board game auction in front of a group of friends and strangers last March. As board game lovers, we attend this auction every year and it has always been a very romantic and special event for us. I met with the auction officers in advance and made a plan. Towards the end of the auction, officials announced that there was a last-minute addition from Holly (me!) To the box games sold by auction. Then he said, "Dexter, will you marry me?" They showed me the box game where I put a banner with a word on it. Then, I knelt in front of Dexter and handed him an engagement ring I had specially made for a designer at Etsy. Dexter was incredibly surprised because he never expected this from me and instantly said "yes".

Most people gave positive comments about our story. We shared the video of the offer on our social media accounts so that people can see our story with their own eyes. Many of my friends expressed that they were very emotional while watching the video and congratulated us for overturning stereotypical gender roles in this way. One of the advantages of living in a forward-thinking city like Seattle was that 99% of the comments about my proposal to Dexter as a woman were positive. I really liked this.

Although I didn't like to remember those times, I thought there was a reason why gender roles were so accepted in the years when I was overly devoted to my religion. But looking back, I realized that these stereotypes of behavior tailored for the sexes were never part of our relationship with Dexter.

I didn't understand before how this could happen because I had never had a boyfriend who didn't treat me like a "girl" before. I am very happy that I found this person in Dexter and that I am not in a relationship governed by patriarchal norms. This marriage proposal represented "us" precisely for this reason. In the past few years, I've realized that gender roles are all nonsense, and I'm delighted to have the chance to prove it to the whole world with my proposal!

There is no single "best way" to make a marriage proposal, and gender should not be an important factor in this. My proposal was perfect for our relationship because Dexter likes to be surprised and I like to be the planner. I think when you look at your relationship, you can more or less predict who will enjoy planning the marriage proposal and who will be happy to be the recipient of the proposal. The best part of the relationships established in modern times is that you can have enough freedom to create the dynamic you want ...

3. Danni

I met my fiancee Ben 10 years ago on the internet. Just a few years ago, until Ben said he liked me for a while, we were just friends online. At that time I was living in California and he was in Wisconsin. When it got more serious, we decided it was time to meet face to face. So I bought my plane ticket and went to visit him. I stayed with him for 1 week and during this time I met his family and a few very close friends. Thus, we made the work a little more formal. I went to visit him again a few months later. After that visit, I was sure that I would move to Wisconsin to be with Ben after graduation.

I proposed to her during a Rick Astley concert.

In fact, my plan was to propose to her during her favorite song, but she couldn't tell me what her favorite song was. So I improvised and chased any appropriate moment to ask the question. At the beginning of the concert, the lights stopped and "Never Gonna Give You Up" started playing. I realized there couldn't be a more perfect moment to explode the question. I did not have an engagement ring with me, and I had not agreed with the venue and arranged something before. I just turned to him and asked, "Will you marry me?" He said yes, but everything had happened so unofficially that I felt the need to make a statement saying he didn't take me seriously. “I'm asking you this in a very formal way. That means we are now engaged, "I said. The whole thing was pretty annoying! We had already discussed the topic of marriage and I knew he would say yes, but still a voice in my head said, "Oh my god, what if he says no ?!" she scrambled in fear. But as a result I asked and she said yes she too. This was also an indescribable happiness for me, and I now squeeze the word "engaged" into almost every sentence. I am taking every opportunity to break away from gender roles. Proposing was one of them, and it was just a wonderful feeling!

It was a move that suits my personality very well, to be honest. An inner voice was telling me that I would make the proposal to whom I marry. Before the proposal, I was telling a lot of people I knew that I was about to get engaged. Most of them didn't understand how I was so sure of that. How did I know that? Were we gone looking for rings with me? Until I told them, most of them did not even think that I was going to propose.

I think trying to "do everything as it should be" can put unnecessary pressure on people. However, proposing should be a fun thing! So, the process will be a little stressful anyway, but still enjoy it as much as you can. Put aside who “should” to propose and let your creativity flow. There are hundreds of fun ways to ask this question to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It doesn't necessarily have to be done by kneeling in a fancy restaurant.